9.)

Howard scrolls through his phonebook looking for someone who might want to have sex with him. He finds a few but doesn’t want to have sex with someone he knows. He deletes some people he doesn’t want to have sex with. Howard looks at his computer. Howard turns on his computer and opens iTunes. Howard looks behind him and sees his dog on the floor. Howard pulls a wedgie out of his ass for extra comfort. Howard looks at his computer. Howard listens to Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent. Howard feels fucking great.