29.3.08

21.)

Howard feels his back pocket and realizes that he is not carrying his wallet. He returns to Super Stop and Shop and retraces his steps to the car. At home he considers writing a list of how pissed off he is that he lost his wallet "I am so pissed off because I lost my wallet and nothing has changed." He calls his bank and has his ATM card put on hold. He calls Liz and leaves a message. He spends two seconds getting dressed and then carries a bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey™ to a party. There aren’t any shot glasses so he drinks beer, and then someone says to just pull straight from the bottle, then Howard has some Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey™ on his shirt and someone offers him an ice cube. He feels intensely drunk. He has to go to work tomorrow. He smokes pot and to makes jokes. He pulls a few people aside in order to whisper inappropriate jokes to them. Someone he knows pulls him aside and says "I just want you to know, that I know, that you're a piece of shit." Howard gets really pissed. He doesn't think that is fucking cool.
"That makes me really pissed off."

She says "What?"

"I know I’m and asshole most of the time, but you don’t fucking know me."

“Yeah, and that's why you're a piece of shit."

"Fuck!" He thinks, "She is drunk I guess. What a dumb bitch." Howard feels fucked.

A girl comes towards Howard and says "Biggie Smalls. I thought about it, Biggie Smalls." Howard has no idea what she is fucking talking about.

Later he tells someone "I am going to hurl" hoping the person will direct him to the street. The person directs him to the bathroom and he looks at the tiny sink and tiny toilet and thinks “This fucking sucks.” He goes back into the party and pukes his guts out. The party seems to stop around him. He goes to the bathroom and a girl he knows helps him wash his face and hands and rinse his mouth. She walks with him a few blocks and tries to walk him all the way home. He says "I definitely have it, uh, I'm definitely better than you to be walking home alone." She says, "But you're just so drunk." At home Howard takes all of his clothes off and takes all the shit off his bed and lies down. It's three AM. He feels fucking great. He puts on the song Hot For Teacher by Van Halen. The next day he wakes up at 11:30 AM and decides to get up at two in the afternoon. He sets two alarms. It's cold. Howard closes his bedroom window. At 2 PM, one of his alarms goes off and he gets up. He takes a piss and looks at himself. He puts on the song Hot for Teacher by Van Halen. He feels sad and stupid. He feels like he'll be fired for not going to work today.