Pat high fives Howard and Howard says “I’ll MySpace you about next Thursday” and Pat leaves. Howard calls Samantha.
Samantha says “Hello?”
Howard says “Yo, what’s up Samantha?”
Samanatha says “Hi, how are you?”
Howard says, “I’m ok.”
“Yeah.” She sounds distracted. Howard hears people talking in the background. Howard wishes he was with lots of people and that lots of people watned to talk to him.
Howard says “What you got goin’ on?”
Samantha says “I’m actually in Linenwold right now, I’m between one train and another train. Why what’s up?
Howard “Oh, nothing, I don’t know.”
Samantha says “What?”
Howard says “Okay then. Alright.”
Samantha says “You’re crazy.”
Howard says “Alright then.” Howard says “I don’t know do you want to hang out sometime? Tomorrow or sometime”
Samantha says “Yeah, probably not tomorrow actually, I’ll still be in Jersey, but I’m not doing anything Sunday, do you want me to give you a call Sunday?”
Howard says “Sure, yeah. Cool.”
Samantha says “Okay, have a good night.”
Howard says “Yeah, goodbye” and closes his cell phone. He goes to the Adult Superstore. The latest Girs Gone Wild DVD, Girls Gone Wild: Before They Were Stars is playing. He wants to ask one of the girls that work there whether they have to play that DVD or they chose to. He isn’t sure if “have to” reinforces the fact that they’re at work and might be a turnoff. He isn’t sure what to do. As he goes down the escalator he decides to say something to one of the girls who works there but then a Mexican man gets on the escalator behind him and he can’t anymore. Outside he feels tired and doesn’t want to drive all the way home. He goes to a grocery store and looks for a small bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ for one dollar and eighty nine cents or less but only sees large bags of Cool Ranch Doritos™ for three dollars and sixty nine cents. He goes in another one and sees small bags of Rold Gold™ pretzels for one dollar and ninety nine cents. He doesn’t get them. He goes to Super Stop and Shop and looks around. He sees small bags of Cheez-It’s™ for seventy nine cents. He buys a five pound bag of Starburst™. He walks down the street towards his car. He makes a left turn. He is going to his friends’ house. He sees one of his friends driving his truck and yells his friend’s name and his friend stops his truck and pulls alongside Howard. Howard says “Hey Brad.”
Brian says, “Oh, hey Howard, what’s up man?”
Howard says “Nothing. What are you doing?”
Brad says “Just going to the beer store.”
Howard says “Oh yeah; you’re getting tanked tonight?”
Brad smiles big and says “I get tanked every night, so yeah.”
Howard says “I was just going to head over to your house and see if you guys were gonna get tanked.”
Brad says “I could uh pick something up for you, though I’m already picking up… well, yeah I guess I probably could.”
Howard says “That would be awesome” and takes out a five dollar bill from his pocket. “Could you get me a forty of Steel Reserve High Gravity™?”
Brad says “Sure, yeah. Alright I’ll see you over there then.”
Howard says “Thanks, see ya.” Howard walks to Brad’s house and pushes the door open. Inside he sees other people he knows. They are surprised and happy to see him. Howard shares his Starburst™ and everyone eats and appreciates them. Brad comes back and they didn’t have any forties of Steel Reserve High Gravity™ so he got Howard two St. Ides™ forties instead. Howard looks at them and feels fucking great. He puts one in the fridge and opens the other. He drinks it and feels good and refreshed. Howard smokes cigarettes and talks about everything. Later Howard and Brad drive to the pretzel factory and the beer store and then come home and everyone is upstairs in Alice’s room. Howard is drinking his second forty ounce bottle of St. Ides™ malt liquor. He feels as though he will pass out any time. He makes faces at Alice and she makes goofy faces back, sometimes. He realizes that he has no idea if she wants to have sex with him. He wants to sleep with her and is afraid that he will pass out before he can try. Later he wakes up on Alice’s floor. There is mustard on his pants and a little mustard on his left shoe. He stands up and feels okay. It is 6:15 AM. He goes downstairs splashes water on his face. He goes to the front door and unlocks it and opens it and tries to lock it and then closes it. It isn’t locked. Howard looks at the door. He isn’t sure what to do. He starts to walk away. Alice opens the door and says “Oh, bye.”
Howard says “See ya later.” He feels as though he is wearing headphones, and so he can’t hear what anyone is saying. He walks home and feels fucking great. He isn’t very tired or hungover. He sees morning people, some of them with small children. He reaches his house and feels very thirsty.
Inside, John says “Hey Howie. Just get back from partying?”
Howard says “I just woke up on Alice’s bedroom floor.”
John says, “Oh, you were over there?” Howard says “Yeah.” Howard drinks a Bud Light™. He feels better. He gets another from the fridge and drinks it. He tells John he’s going back to bed and walks to his bedroom, holding the empty can. In his room he takes off all his clothes and gets in bed. He uses the mouse for his Gateway Desktop to put on Staind’s first album. He picks up the book A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. He reads the first twenty pages. He is slightly distracted by the choice of whether or not to go back to sleep. He goes on MySpace. He changes his status to “Howard is I just woke up and I’m not sure whether or not I should go back to sleep. PS: I’m still drunk because I rule.” Howard goes to the bathroom and washes his face and hands. Howard goes to sleep.